Ever had one of those conversations that start out as casual banter but somehow lead to a profound realization? That happened to me this week.
An old friend decided to keep his schedule more open—less rigid planning, more space for spontaneous catch-ups, like we used to do in university. So, when we met up, we had no agenda beyond grabbing a meal and seeing where the evening took us. Turns out, it took us down memory lane—quite literally…
The Walk That Took Us Back (and Forward)
After dinner, nostalgia kicked in. Back in medical school, we used to go on long walks, often in the worst weather—stormy, windy, sometimes drizzly. That evening, the weather was just like that. So, naturally, we walked!
At first, it was the usual life updates, chit chat and reminiscing about how long our walks used to be. But as the night stretched on, we started unpacking the bigger questions and realised we both were at a turning point in our lives.
My friend, once a full-time clinician, is now in a more managerial role. As we talked, I pointed out something that seemed obvious to me but not to him—he was thriving. In the past, after a few months in a role, I’d hear a lot of negatives about the role and in a few years, he’d hop to something else. This role seemed different – there was the negatives, of course, but saw how this job was aiding his personal development. He had settled into the role, and someone had even given him a small gift to thank him for being a great manager. “That’s so rare” I pointed out. After all, when was the last time you felt the need to gift your manager?!
Then he turned the spotlight on me.
“What about you? What are you working on?”
I listed my projects—things I was exploring, ideas I was chasing. And then he said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“It sounds like you’re after more autonomy. And you love solving problems with hacks or unusual solutions that others often don’t see straight away.”
I hadn’t been able to put it into words before, but he was right! I’ve been trying to clarify my own direction, and in one conversation, he helped me articulate it.
The Lesson: Conversations Reveal Blind Spots
We often think self-reflection is a solo activity, but sometimes, the best way to understand ourselves is through the eyes of people who truly know us. The right conversation, at the right time, can illuminate what we’ve been in our blind spot.
So, here’s my challenge for you: reach out to an old friend, take a long walk, and have an unstructured conversation. You might be surprised at what you discover.
Have you ever had a conversation that helped you see yourself more clearly? I’d love to hear about it